Sunburnt Souls: A Christian Mental Health Podcast

Success Nearly Killed David’s Soul

Dave Quak

What if your greatest risk isn’t suffering, but success? We dive into David’s uneven path from overlooked shepherd to celebrated king to show how formation in hidden places can hold you together when the spotlight doesn’t. This is a story about mental well-being, deep emotion, spiritual resilience, and the slow drift that happens when comfort dulls conviction.

We start with David’s early years—ignored by family yet seen by God—and how solitude forged skill, courage, and a prayer life that could carry heavy feelings without collapsing. From lions and bears to Goliath, adversity sharpened him. Then we zoom into the complex season under Saul: playing the harp for a tormented king while dodging spears, learning humility and restraint even when power was within reach. Along the way we map the paradox: David excels with pressure and purpose, but stumbles when life is easy.

We take an honest look at the Bathsheba fallout—how desire, access, and unchecked power produce a spiral of secrecy and harm—and why Psalm 51 remains a masterclass in repentance and restoration. Rather than sin-leveling or stone-throwing, we trace a healthier response: truth telling, lament, and a renewed heart that returns to mission. 

You’ll hear practical takeaways for modern life: building identity in the quiet, planning for success with guardrails and accountability, and using confession to break the cycle before shame buries you. David’s legacy is not perfection; it’s the courage to come back to God, again and again, until wisdom grows where wounds once lived.

If this conversation helps you think differently about faith, feelings, and resilience, share it with a friend, hit follow, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. What guardrails will you set for your next season of success?

☀️ CONNECT with Sunburnt Souls

Discover more from Sunburnt Souls — a Christian mental health podcast sharing real stories of faith, hope, and healing at sunburntsouls.com.

Explore our library of Christian mental health resources, including podcasts, free devotionals, and online courses designed to help you strengthen your faith, overcome anxiety and depression, and experience emotional and spiritual renewal.

🧠 NEW ONLINE COURSE: Loving Life with Faith and Mental Health

A 28-day, $28 journey to help you:

  • Embrace your identity in Jesus
  • Build life-giving spiritual rhythms
  • Navigate anxiety, depression, and burnout with honesty and grace

👉 Start your 28-day journey today

📩 JOIN OUR COMMUNITY

Get weekly encouragement, bonus podcast clips, and faith-informed mental health resources in your inbox. 👉 Subscribe to the newsletter

🙏 SUPPORT THE MISSION

Help us keep producing Christian mental health podcasts and resources that bring hope to listeners around the world and breaks the stigma in the Church. 👉 ...

Dave Quak:

Welcome to Sunburn Souls. On the show we speak about life and faith and our mental well-being. And Dave and Jess, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, are teaming up again today. Have you ever had a speaker introduce you, sorry, a church introduce you, Jess, and do the old Mighty Ducks thing, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. Do you remember?

Jess Quak:

I do remember that. I don't remember that being for me though. I thought that was more for you.

Dave Quak:

Yeah, it was Jeremy Fredericks back at King's Church in the 2000s. That guy had no shame and all the audacity in the world. So quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, Jesse, quack. Welcome to the episode.

Jess Quak:

Thanks, Dave. It's good to be here again.

Dave Quak:

It's good I like these um teamps because we're looking at different heroes of the faith, biblical heroes, who had some things going on with their mental well-being. And so our goal is not to be like, hey, that guy's got mental illness and that woman's got this condition. That's not where we're about. We don't even have qualifications to do that, even if we did desire that, which we don't. What we want to do is start pointing out the way God used people all throughout the Bible who did have some things going on mentally and how he didn't disqualify them.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

You know, there's no disqualification just because you've got some mental health issues, and it's pretty well known that I got bipolar and I lead a church, and that seems to be going okay, and it's up and down, just like my personality, but that's every church, isn't it?

Jess Quak:

That's humans, it's people. And I think um we're gonna be looking at David today, and David is a guy who is so full of emotions, he's actually quite a an interesting person to look at because not only do we see sort of a chronicle of his life that's sort of laid out this is what he did, this is what he said, but we also get to have an a look at his inside world through the psalms and the songs that he sings and see how that is affecting his behaviour and also how he's processing the things that happened to him in life and how he's sort of um doing that with his relationship with God and also his understanding of himself and his place in the world and and what's going on there. So we we do get quite a bit on David, which makes it a massive sort of um thing to look at.

Dave Quak:

It is pretty cool. So you you do see his life in one and two Samuel, or one Samuel particularly, and then like Jess said, all the psalms and other places. Funnily enough, Jess, I was thinking about you earlier today, and I thought, you know, if you had a teenage platonic male friend in the Bible, it probably would have been David.

Jess Quak:

Really?

Dave Quak:

Yes, because in his teenage years, in his formative years, he was so much like you, where like David's life was actually pretty good before he had prominence.

Jess Quak:

Yes.

Dave Quak:

Like if you think about what he was doing as the younger son of a guy called Jesse, right? So when you're the youngest son, you do the jobs that nobody kind of wants to do. So the big brothers are off to war and doing heroic cool stuff.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

He's out in the field looking after sheep, right? But I've always joked with you know some of my sillier mates like Andy and that that if you that if you ever left me, it wouldn't be for another dude. It'd be just to be left alone. You know, just to be alone, to be able to worship, to be able to take care of the sheep, and just to have no human pressure. So I think you and David would be mates as teenagers, because as a teenager, that's where he cultivated firstly his you know skills as a shepherd. Obviously, he had to, you know, play his part within the family, especially in those days. There were no kids that got to kind of sit around on the Xbox. Everybody worked.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

But then he also cultivated his relationship with God, and that's where a lot of the psalms we read came from.

Jess Quak:

Yeah, yeah. I think that for me is one of the most significant parts that I see about David's life that impacts me personally, because there's a lot about David that I don't really relate to in some ways. Um, other way, other things I do. One thing I do really see in him though is really long stints of time in the wilderness, like in times of spiritual formation before God puts him in a place of prominence. And sometimes that who he's formed to be, his character is strong enough to sort of carry him through prominence. Uh, sometimes it's not. But um he does seem to have quite a number of those seasons where he's sort of taken away from everyone and everything, or he's taken away and he's still responsible for people, but it's on the down low and it's on the um through the hardship of it all.

Dave Quak:

Yeah. Well, we see this when he takes out Goliath. Like the reason he had such confidence not to miss Goliath is that he'd been hitting, you know, little rocks on sticks for the last 15 years and become a boss, and then he killed a lion, then he killed a wolf, was it? What was the other thing? A lion and a bear, sorry, lion and a bear. And so when everyone else was looking at Goliath saying, Oh no, there's no way I can get him, David's like, There's no way I can miss him. This is what I've been built for.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

And so you're right, you see that in all different ways in David's life. And it doesn't always also w work out awesome. Yeah. You know, he's not always cutting the head off Goliath. He's sometimes just groveling and making mistakes and digging into stupidity, which then causes him to write Psalm 51, it's like, have mercy on me, Lord, uh, uh according to your unfailing love. I've stuffed it up again. And it's this whole gabbit of like emotions coming to pass. And so what I thought we'd do, Jess, is just we've given a little bit of an overview already, but let's start talking about some of the things that happened in David's life that would have messed with his mental health.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

Okay. Why don't we start with King Saul?

Jess Quak:

Oh, I would have started at the beginning. Well, then. I would have gone way back. Because to me, what really um impacts me is his family that he grew up in and the way that he was formed there. Because David is seen as like the younger son, and you can see that when he comes to get anointed, when the father is asked, please bring your sons before me, and his father completely overlooks him. It's not like he misses him, he just doesn't include him in his children at all.

Dave Quak:

He doesn't present him, hey.

Jess Quak:

He does he's like, Here are my sons, and you hear that they are these big, muscular, awesome, charismatic guys that should look on the surface like they should be the most ultimate of successes, and that's what David grew up with. It just really very much so in the shadow of his older brothers, and so he really was not just the younger brother, he was really overlooked and put to the side, and yet God saw him, and it's it's amazing that God saw him and he saw God back in that, and his time out in the fields with God was was very formative for him, and that his identity was wrapped up in God. But I see then the seed of that throughout the rest of his life, where no matter what happens, he and God come to a place where they're good again, but he does struggle to know how to relate to others well often. So he will relate, whether it's women, his children, he's not a great dad in the end, but he didn't have necessarily a great dad to model to him. He makes mistakes where he didn't have those things sort of being formed in those very beginning stages. So um, and yet in all of that, because he was formed with God, he's able to sort of work through it and and come through it and still have a very strong sense of his identity and who he is. But it's because he knows who he is in God.

Dave Quak:

I remember when we saw the better ones when we were over in Israel. Is that how you say it? And they're shepherds still. And they get around by themselves and all day long are with the sheep in the pastures, you know, in the fields. You gotta you've gotta know yourself.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

Otherwise you'd go insane.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

And you've got to like yourself at least somewhat, otherwise you'd go insane. Maybe that's where his social awkwardness came from. Maybe that's where as well being the left-out brother.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

You know, maybe.

Jess Quak:

Yeah. And we can often think that it is such a blessing to have such prominence and to have so much responsibility. But actually, the Bible often shows the danger of not just not having enough, but having too much of a good thing. And um that that can ri come with some real pitfalls if you're not really careful. And so David falls into a number of pitfalls.

Dave Quak:

I don't know if we shall get into those yet, because they're the famous part of his life. But after this, when he's presented as the next king, you know, there is a really horrible transition between him and King Saul.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

Could you imagine this? If you've never read a book called Three Kings by Gene Edwards, do so, because it's an amazing depiction of the relationship between Saul, then David, then Absalom. But just the way they were such differently wired individuals. Like you know, Saul was ahead and above everyone else, you know, he's tall and strong and headstrong and just ruthless. Like he started well, but man, he got up to some crazy things like you know, consulting uh witches and all kinds of things. Like, what would it be like, do you think, Jess, to follow in the footsteps of a king like that where you've got a David's heart?

Jess Quak:

Yeah. I think that's probably why God chose David, because he was different in that aspect. Um where, say, if David's brothers would have been chosen, it would have been Saul all over again. David knew from God that he wasn't to be like a king of the nations around him, but he also knew that he wasn't to be a king like Saul. So what's he meant to do? That's it's actually a really difficult position to be in. Because and this can come in anything, like we're marriage relationships where you go, I don't want to do it like I've been shown, but it can be really hard when you don't know, well, what is it meant to look like?

Dave Quak:

You do this well when we run pre-marriage counselling, because inevitably someone in the pre-marriage counselling will say, I don't want to marriage like my parents.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

And you always say, Well, what do you want it to look like?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

Because it's easy to declare what we don't want to be, but it's way harder to forge what we do want to be.

Jess Quak:

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Dave Quak:

And crazily enough, like God didn't want kings.

Jess Quak:

No.

Dave Quak:

And so it's not like there's this long succession of kings that David could model off because there's been Saul and that's it. And even Saul was a concession because the nation of Israel cried out, and even God said, This isn't gonna work out the way you think it's gonna work out. Like these people, they're going to oppress you, and it took what, one generation for that to happen. Like a hundred percent of the time straight away. So, so you know, so David doesn't automatically become king, he serves in Saul's household. Imagine that.

Jess Quak:

Yeah, knowing that you have the anointing, but you don't yet have the position. Yeah. That's a a tricky place to be in, um, especially because Saul is like properly possessed. He he has a the Bible says he has a spirit come upon him, and he gets angry and violent, and you know, it might look like a mental health thing, but it's not, it's an actual spiritual thing, and David is there to help calm him and help, you know, be a part of the household that brings peace and love, and even that's sort of part of his formation too.

Dave Quak:

It fully is. Like he Saul actually throws spears at David, and he's a big dude, he's been throwing spears before. Yeah, you know, David's dodging them and playing the harp and trying to get this demon out of the guy.

Jess Quak:

Yeah, yeah. It's actually somewhat crazy. David's really one of those guys. I look at him and I sort of, you know, probably you're someone who's quite ironically similar to him in personality. I often picture, you know, people as I read about them and their reactions, and I think, oh, what's that per that is that that that person that sort of creates the a picture in my mind of of what they're like. It's probably it's why I don't watch that many of the um series and stuff that are often built off people in the Bible because it doesn't match up always for me.

Dave Quak:

Yeah, you've been hard on those series. Like you've been alright on the chosen, but anything else, you've been like, no, that's not them.

Jess Quak:

Yeah, it didn't happen like that. That's not what not how they responded. That's out of character for them. Um, but David is one of these people who has so many talents. He is a warrior, he is a musician, he is strategic, but he's also very soft and he's very creative, and he's so full of personality. You know, he is never without big feelings and big thoughts, and um he seems to be very expressive, and it's interesting in different times throughout history, people would have looked at him and labelled him one way or another, whether he's masculine or feminine or whatever, but he's just himself, um, and he really just processes things in his very own way, and God uses all the little bits and pieces at different times to bring as many people as he can back to God, yeah, which is really interesting because it also not just playing the harp and and writing songs for everyone to sing, but actually let's go and kill all of these people who are coming against us. It's very all over the place.

Dave Quak:

Yeah, I like that you said that because if we did label him these days it'd be very like he's this or he's that or whatever, but he was everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

And the fact that he can cut a giant's head off and then write a song about it. And then sing the song probably.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

Dave Quak:

You know, like and dance in the nude before the Lord or at least in just undies.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

Like he really was a man of all the emotions. But I think one of the things that draws this together is the fact that because because he had something real going on with God, he could handle all of it. He could handle the highs, the lows, and no, he didn't do it well every single time. But he could because he kept going back to God. And that thing, to his credit, he kept stuffing up, kept going back to God, kept going back to God. And some of the most powerful Psalms of Lament are his you know, repentance and coming back to God, come on back to God.

Jess Quak:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

You know, and even the humility he showed, like, mate, okay, so he can he can take out Goliath, which means if Saul's doing a wee wee in the corner of a cave and he's hidden in there, he could easily take him out as well. Yep. And twice he doesn't. Yeah. So he shows loyalty even to people who don't what we would consider to be deserving of our loyalty.

Jess Quak:

Yeah. One thing you see really well with David is that he deals with pressure and difficulty and hardship really well. His struggle is when he has the opposite with success. And that can happen with idle hands sort of so many people, yeah. Success can be uh difficulties in and of their own. He's been formed in difficult times and his character sustains him through difficult times. But it takes him time to be formed during success to continue to live in the image of God.

Dave Quak:

That's really good. I've never thought of that. So when he's fighting, when he's got a war to be fought, where he's got a battle to be won, something to overcome, he's all good.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep.

Dave Quak:

I guess that's how we got in trouble with Besheba. Like it starts by saying, you know, as the kings go out to war, and instead he's walking around on top perfin on women.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah.

Dave Quak:

That's a good point. I mean, that's a good point. I mean, these days as well, you know, so much value is put on escaping work and escaping pressure and escaping all of that, where maybe that's not the best um end game of life.

Jess Quak:

No, and it's not going to be the best thing for you if your character is not developed enough to be able to handle that. You actually see that um with the Israelites when they come out of the wilderness, they don't go straight to the promised land because they're not ready for it yet. God has to form them through the desert first before they'll be able to handle the blessings. Otherwise, the blessings in and of themselves become a curse.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Jess Quak:

And so for people who are looking at others who are like, wow, they're so successful, they have it all so good, it's all amazing. Don't stop praying for those people in your ideal of success because there are just as many snares and difficulties there in a different way, uh, and our character still needs to keep coming back and being formed in God, and that's what David does really well.

Dave Quak:

It's funny, hey, this morning at church, um so next week we're planting a church, which is kind of like what you would consider to be the moment, you know, like one of the big moments. And I was saying goodbye to a lady, and she's nice, but she's obviously very blunt, and she always has been, and that's one of her best qualities. But she just looks at me and goes, uh, you look tired. And not even like, Are you tired or you look tired? Well, I still love ya. But it's true, like, because it's been you know, establishing a new church, it's a fight, it's a battle.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

You know, there's the spiritual warfare and everything that goes with it. It's gonna be a cool victory.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

But it does come with its um it does come with its the cost. Lack of sleep, spiritual warfare, finding things out, money, it's everything. What do you reckon happens to David? Like, okay, why bang Bathsheba? He's why? Like that you got it all. You can have any woman. You know, I I read it again this week and he had eight wives already.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

I don't know if what order they all came in, but there was eight by the end of it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

That he mentioned by name, three by name multiple times, five mentioned just once. Yeah. Why bang Besheba?

Jess Quak:

He had a terrible family dynamic and relational dynamic, really, when you look at it, because he was not great at being dad either. He was not really good at you know, God said don't get lots of wives. He did. And we've we've spoken before, that's never a good idea. Uh, and it it does make you pay a price. And I wonder, like it doesn't say in the Bible, but it does make me wonder, like, he's been all this time being formed out in the fields, his brothers are the popular ones, and that, and he maybe feels a little bit left to the side. Having the adoration of a woman or a beautiful woman that he can have just because he has this position, um, and because he's in a moment of weakness, because he's not where he needs to be. He's positioned himself wrong, he's Dabbling in stuff he shouldn't be dabbling in, and it's just led to that whole biblical cycle of sin. I think it's in the start of James that even talks about it, but um, it's that you see the thing that you shouldn't be looking at, and then you go out, you take it, which you shouldn't have, and you eat it, and then it um consumes you, it affects your life and it does bring rot into your world. And so David is placing himself in a position that he shouldn't have been there, he shouldn't have been looking. Um, but that's an area of his weakness as a as a person.

Dave Quak:

Yeah. This week I went out with a mentor for coffee, and only two weeks ago, Philip Yancey it was discovered that he'd been having a fare for eight weeks. And this mentor I uh eight years, sorry, and this mentor I went out with and I have a long relationship, so I was like, I was hammering him pretty hard. And the and the mentor's like, yeah, but all of us are only one step away from that track, and it really stopped me in my tracks, because like he's like, Look, you don't think you're gonna do that, but it is one step and another step and another step and another step, and what you swore you'd never do before is something you end up doing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

And we don't like hearing that, but none of us are any better than King David when it comes to that, really. Maybe you haven't had an affair, but we have these inklings in our hearts that we entertain that take steps and you know, get root, and then we get dragged away and enticed. And so you reckon that's what happened to David?

Jess Quak:

Yeah, I think so.

Dave Quak:

But what about all the intimacy he cultivated as a teenager and as a in his twenties, you know? What what about all that? Does he just forget it's there?

Jess Quak:

Yeah, I think to an element it does, because before he's pulled up by a prophet coming and going, look, this is a scenario you're actually in, he doesn't quite see it that way. He's probably looking at all the other king what everyone else does, all the other kings have whoever they want. And you know, people around have multiple wives and they like beautiful girls, and you know, maybe my mates might do it this way, whatever it might be, it's just to excuse it in your brain until you get that moment where God's like, Hey, what have you done? Yeah, look what you have actually done before me, and then when he sees that moment, he is devastated.

Dave Quak:

Yeah, and I think devastated's the right reaction. Yeah. See bringing it back to mental health, we all are gonna make mistakes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

Dave Quak:

But when we get there, we need to Psalm 51. You need to read that again because David goes from brokenness to restoration. You need to acknowledge that you've stuffed up, but you can't also stay in that forever. Because once you've stuffed up, you need to get the appropriation of the blood of Jesus over that so you don't walk in condemnation forever. Yeah. You know, and the length of time between stuffing up and getting restoration is going to be different for every person. But for Jesus, it's the same, it's the finished work of Jesus on the cross without it crossing over into Licentia's sin. It's the bizarre relationship there.

Jess Quak:

Yeah, and I think it's it's actually been really interesting watching, like you said, with the Philippiensi reactions. Um, because David does this really well. He actually outlays what it should be like when we find ourselves caught in sin. Um, because some people react saying it's just a sin we all sin, and in some ways, kind of like it's called sin leveling. We all sin the same, so you can just excuse it. It's nothing without taking that step back and going, like, what this is huge for his family, for the reputation. You know, David, even when he's pulled up by God, um, part of it is the God's reputation within the spiritual realm has been somewhat marred through the behaviour that David has has gone through. It is sin is actually big, it is worth being devastated over, and yet staying in that place or throwing stones or is not the right reaction either. So David properly repented before God, and he came before God with a real understanding of like, oh, that is not what you wanted for me, it's not what you wanted for them. This has huge repercussions because it wasn't just not that anything's just an affair, but he also murdered this woman's husband who was also a friend of his who had been loyal to him, who was doing the right thing when David was doing the wrong thing. He was just caught up in this cycle of sin that continued to grow until it was brought into the light, and I think that's an element of it too, where there is such value and beauty in confession because it stops that cycle short. And bringing this stuff to the light is uncomfortable and difficult and hard, but knowing that you're going to get to a place where you can be restored is such a thing of hope and and of value, and we as people need to be able to help walk people through that process, and things like the Psalms and David himself show us that okay, yeah, you will fall in one way or another, but you can fall forward, as that saying goes. You can fall, but you can be forgiven, you can actually truly be restored, you can make restoration and you can move forward with more knowledge, with wisdom, putting better boundaries in place, having more grace for others, being more like Christ, yeah, moving forward. So I think there's a few things that we can probably get from David. It's how to find your identity, use the hard times to help it forge you in your relationship with God. There's also being aware that if you're in a hard times, also be prepared not only how you're gonna do hard times well, but how you're gonna do good times well with God. And then when you stuff it up, which you will, and if you're caught in a cycle of sin, how are you gonna get out of it? Um, because David shows a really good way of not becoming a victim or not sitting there in his guilt and shame for the rest of his life, but instead he processes it with God, he repents and he receives the forgiveness of God and continues to walk in the calling and blessing of the Lord for the rest of his life.

Dave Quak:

Yeah. What a blessing. Well, Jessica, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. Could you please bless us and pray us out? And next week we'll be back for another episode of Biblical Heroes and Their Mental Well-being. Yeah, for sure.

Jess Quak:

Lord, thank you that you see us, whether we be in the field, in the cave, on a throne, in a palace, in a community. No matter where we may be, Lord God, you see us and you yearn for us to connect with you and find our place in your heart, Lord. And I ask for everyone today who's listening to this that we can find a greater freedom in you, that we can come to hand over all of our sin and our shame and our pain and our hurt, but also our worship and our praise to you and allow you to do what only you can do to the very depths of our heart to bring us freedom and renewal and strength and deliverance and hope and peace, Lord. I thank you for your love for us and that we have people like David who have not lived perfect lives but know you, who is a perfect God. That we too can follow his example and coming back to you time and time again, and allowing you to be the one to write our story for generations to come in Jesus' name. Amen.

Dave Quak:

Amen.

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

The Dead Elephants Podcast Artwork

The Dead Elephants Podcast

Duncan Robinson and Chris Cipollone
Practicing the Way Artwork

Practicing the Way

Practicing the Way
Bible Project Artwork

Bible Project

Bible Project
CXMH: On Faith & Mental Health Artwork

CXMH: On Faith & Mental Health

Robert Vore & Dr. Holly Oxhandler
Re-MIND Podcast Artwork

Re-MIND Podcast

Re-Mind Podcast
Anxious Faith Artwork

Anxious Faith

Our Daily Bread Ministries
Dream Brave Artwork

Dream Brave

Wai Jia Tam
Grey Areas with Petra Bagust Artwork

Grey Areas with Petra Bagust

rova | Love It Media